Monday, March 2, 2015

She's Back

Phoenicia, the team's own Red Hawt Dwarf Chick, done spent 6.0 lookin' like some hillbilly white trash three days after the meth ran out an' no clue as ta when ta expect a new shipment. But afters 6.1 landed with some face tweakin' an' liftin' she were all herselfified again, fired up an' readies fer ta kick some Iron Butt. I's sure what her husbands (the one in Ironforge, the one in Kirthaven, an' the one in Booty Bay) is all real happy too.

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Sons Of Anachronisms

After years of runnin' from the auction house ta the bank ta some profession vendor ta the auction house, Boy Friday an' J. P. Worgen has done patched in. Course, as hard workin' bank alts they's got weighty matters on they's minds an' cain't be bothered what with drivin' theyselves....

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Is Where Galertruby Explainifies The Random 6.1 Vendors

Lotta folks was a little bafflefied by Blizzard's decision fer ta make all the random vendors what sells tier 4 craftin' recipes an' primal spirits fer trade goods be set by region. So, yesterday, everybodies in the U.S. done got the tailorin' vendor. Wanted fer ta buy the recipe fer the new alchemist trinket? Gotta wait. Wanted ta trade in 30k of herbs fer savage bloods? Gotta wait. Well, what if'n I go ta a guildie's garrison? Nope, same vendor. Hows about usin' RealID fer ta visit the garrison of a friend what plays in a different serververse? Nope, same vendor.

Some folks was so unpleased what they even used bad words on the official forums.

Me, I ain't in no hurry, but I does be perplexified by the design choice. But no worries, Galertruby the Profound has looked inta it, and has done deduced the logic behind Blizz's thinkifyin'. An' now he's gonna explain it ta you buggers.

Garhhl. Gahhl galha Garrrahhalagh.

Gllah gahr allahhgrl ghallagl gah. Agh glahhgl glahhgl garrh gahhlahr glahhr, ga gallhahl! Aglhha gahllragl gllah aghhrla gahhllrah gah glaghhlh glahh. Aghahll garhhr glahhlglhaarhga ghallah allha, garrharlh agghal ga arhhh galahhargh. Glallh garrh, gahhlahglahhr agglh ahghlagl glagglha ga arhhh.

Gaghaha aglah agghr laghalagh grahagl, gaghaha glhahg agrgha laghahrag. Glhaggla agg larhg galhagga ghaha alahg, glah, gahaghga gahlgal allahg glha. Glaglha gha, aggrahgl lahg gahhaglarh. Garrh glahaggl glha agghalarg agglahar ghaggl aglha. Agglh ahghlagla agh grrhal, gallha gra gahhllha gallraghl ahl lagglarh. Gahhaga gahagrl!

Glahhgrl glah arrlh aggrhala gahhl glha. Glahg grahhglh glhhlhalha gahhr garrha, aglh glhha gharhl. Glhagl gllha ahhr glahhlglhaarhga ghallah allhag. Gllha garrharlh aglhha gahllragl. Gllah aghhrla gahhllrah gah glaghhlh glahh, gahhl aghhr garahhghlahhrgh aghraahl glhahhl gahhlah. Glah aghr Ghrallhahl gha gahrrlagahr agh gahlagh. Agghlagh garrh arhhlagh gahl grah glahhghl. Glahgl arhlg glah.

Glhargal glah agglha arglhaglh, gahalg aggla gahrlagghl. Laggharlag agglha gah. Aglh aglha gallh gahll gahrrallah. Agrhh glagglha gha ghrallhalha ghagglha gaharrgh glha agglahg, agh argalagh gahhll garhh ahhghr glahh.

Alhhagh gha,

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Successful Hotel Slogans

"Feel the Hyatt Touch."

"The Right Way. The Wyndham Way."

"Relax, it’s Holiday Inn."

"The best surprise is no surprise."

"Discover a hotel that defines a new dimension of luxury."

You buggers notice a pattern? That's right! Ain't none of them hotel chains goes aroun' braggin' "Our innkeeper gots lice!"

Or mebbe he eats lice. Is kinda a ambiguosity, an' I ain't really all that anxious fer ta find out either way.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

The Horror. The Horror.

Yeah, remember what a crapfest the Blades Edge Mountains were? Turns out, it were an improvement. Gorgrond done took the worst parts of Utah and the Congo, through 'em in a blender, then added some unmentioned bodily fluids an' served it up in a fluggernubbin' martini glass. Is all the yuck. We gots ancient rock demigods throwin' down with ancient plant demigods. We gots wasps big enough fer ta throw a saddle on. We gots funguses infectin' yer brain an' totallies makin' you they's bitch.

An' we got innocent lil' kids bein' forced ta eat .... fruit.