Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Is Where Danger Mouse Has An Issue


I am Danger Mouse. I am Forssaken.

Last week was patch day, and mosst of us who aren't pretty blood elvess got new faces. It was a joyousss time, with cheers and fireworkss and glassses of champagne held high in celebration.

Fuck that shit.

I woke up that morning with eyes. Eyess! Me, the dead eyeless girl, with eyes! And not your happy happy joy joy I can sssee clearly now the rain is gone kind of eyes. More like looking through a pair of milk bottle eyes.

Ssuddenly, nothing worked right. I knocked things over. I equipped mysself with mismatched daggersss. I spilled a glass of Blood of the Innocentss. I went to pickpocket a Yuangol, and I slid my hand into the wrong pocket! It was like a scene from a ssteamy romance novel, with him going "yeah, girl, that's it, yeah, don't stop." It was ssso embarrassing that I vanished and ssnuck away, instead of killing him and eating his corpse.

Please, Blizzard, take away my eyes!

Monday, October 20, 2014

Everyone Hail Ta The Pumpkin Queen

Our girl Kinna done be queen of the glubberhubbin' pumpkin patch.

Is big fat hairy Congo rats ta Kinnavieve and her shiny new sword. No sign of that dang pony yet, though.

Friday, October 17, 2014

She And Him, They's Got Unfinished Business

Way backs in the day, Kinnavieve were a member of the raid team of Aetherial Circle, along with Shianti and BRK and Fio and teh Squeakie Pristie an' a buncha other really cool buggers. An' they'd done got ta Sarth 2D when Kinna hadda leave the team 'cause of reasons. Soon afters they did Sarth 3D, but she weren't there so she missed out. Years later, me an' Black Leather Undies done whupped up on Sarth 3D, an' the drake mount done went ta, of all buggers, a certain druid. Told that glubbernugger I ever caught him usin' flight form stead of ridin' it, me an' him was gonna have words. But I digressifies.

Point is, Kinna never did Sarth 3D.

I'd call that mission fuhggin' accomplished. Is shiny new mount ridin' time.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Don't Fuhg With Helium

So John Carter done beat the Lone Ranger in last week's poll, 14-4. Yay space opera!

This week, ta celebrates some crazy bugger in Florida runnin' off with over 30,000 pounds of Crisco, we's gonna settle that age old battle betweens slippery stuff (16 tons of Crisco) an' sticky stuff (500 miles of electrical tape). Or mebbe is a battle between two songs. I just does the polls - you buggers do the rules.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Patch Day Makeoverfication

Afters nine years with the same face, I's gettin' me a lift today. Well lotta you buggers is too, but this ain't about you. Is about me.

Old and Busted:

New Hotness:

Monday, October 13, 2014

I Sees London, I Sees France

Yeah, I's totally seein' Ellspeth's pants.

Yup, the most importants thing about the new model is them clothies now has legs what go all the way up, 'stead of bein' all empty under they's skirts. Shammies and droods too. An' sometimes pallies an' even death knuggets. The hell is up with that? Plate armor skirt? Don't make no fuhggin' sense. Anywho, no more goin' commando if'n ya don't want buggers fer ta know.

An' yeah, Ellspeth be Forsakenized in beta. Don' worry, is just a temporary thing.