Monday, October 20, 2014

Everyone Hail Ta The Pumpkin Queen

Our girl Kinna done be queen of the glubberhubbin' pumpkin patch.

Is big fat hairy Congo rats ta Kinnavieve and her shiny new sword. No sign of that dang pony yet, though.

Friday, October 17, 2014

She And Him, They's Got Unfinished Business

Way backs in the day, Kinnavieve were a member of the raid team of Aetherial Circle, along with Shianti and BRK and Fio and teh Squeakie Pristie an' a buncha other really cool buggers. An' they'd done got ta Sarth 2D when Kinna hadda leave the team 'cause of reasons. Soon afters they did Sarth 3D, but she weren't there so she missed out. Years later, me an' Black Leather Undies done whupped up on Sarth 3D, an' the drake mount done went ta, of all buggers, a certain druid. Told that glubbernugger I ever caught him usin' flight form stead of ridin' it, me an' him was gonna have words. But I digressifies.

Point is, Kinna never did Sarth 3D.

I'd call that mission fuhggin' accomplished. Is shiny new mount ridin' time.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Don't Fuhg With Helium

So John Carter done beat the Lone Ranger in last week's poll, 14-4. Yay space opera!

This week, ta celebrates some crazy bugger in Florida runnin' off with over 30,000 pounds of Crisco, we's gonna settle that age old battle betweens slippery stuff (16 tons of Crisco) an' sticky stuff (500 miles of electrical tape). Or mebbe is a battle between two songs. I just does the polls - you buggers do the rules.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Patch Day Makeoverfication

Afters nine years with the same face, I's gettin' me a lift today. Well lotta you buggers is too, but this ain't about you. Is about me.

Old and Busted:

New Hotness:

Monday, October 13, 2014

I Sees London, I Sees France

Yeah, I's totally seein' Ellspeth's pants.

Yup, the most importants thing about the new model is them clothies now has legs what go all the way up, 'stead of bein' all empty under they's skirts. Shammies and droods too. An' sometimes pallies an' even death knuggets. The hell is up with that? Plate armor skirt? Don't make no fuhggin' sense. Anywho, no more goin' commando if'n ya don't want buggers fer ta know.

An' yeah, Ellspeth be Forsakenized in beta. Don' worry, is just a temporary thing.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Brussel Sprouts

I don' like brussel sprouts. Not one bit. Now, because I done read me some Green Eggs and Ham as an orcling, I's a believer in "try it, ya glubberfumper, ya might like it". So I's tried 'em. Ever seen a chimp turn his lips inside out? Last time I tried one, me whole face did that. Was horrifyin' ta see. Dad slapped me on the back of the head an' said "stop doin' that, yer scarin' the swine!" Point is, I don't like brussel sprouts.

Some buggers, though, they like the dang things. Pop'em in they's mouths like jelly beans, all day long. Good fer them. Don't bother me none. Don't bother me none if they do it in the same tavern. Don't bother me none if they does it while sittin' at the same table as me. Why should it?

Is some glubberthunkers in this world, though, is bothered by thems what likes the sprouts. The really crazy ones, they wants fer ta pass laws makin' eatin' brussel sprouts illegal an' give thems what like hormone shots or some other crazy fuhggery. More often, thoughs, they wants fer ta see theyselves as not bein' hateful douchewaffles, so they sez "sure ya can eat yer sprouts just do it in private. Don' be pushin' yer brussel sprout agenda by eatin' them in restaurants where kids might see. Is icky." An' so they done passed a buncha laws.

Funny thing happened though. Some flunkerduppers in black robes an them George Washington wigs gots tagether an' said "you cain't be goin' aroun' sayin' "is icky" as yer legal argumentifications. that's stupid. don't hurt you none what some other bugger eats at a restaurant. ya gots anythin' else?"

Okay, mebbe they didn't wear the wigs. I cain't be bothered fer ta remember the details.

Anyhow, turns out they didn't. Since "is icky" was out, they tried sayin' stuff like "is in the state's interest fer ta not let any buggers eat stuff what's round at restaurants (unless it's grapes or meatballs or other stuff what ain't icky)." And the folks in robes an' wigs (or mebbe not) has been respondin' with "do I look stupid to you? piss off!"

Is still more dominoes fer ta fall, but fer now I got one thing ta say ta them dumkerthuppers in Indiana, Oklahoma, Utah, Virginia, and Wisconsin what wants fer ta eat they's brussel sprouts in restaurants: Mazal fuhggin' tov!